Archive for 'Uncategorized' Category
drink a lot
18 January 2007“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me - I just can’t stop my hands
shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?”
“Not really - I spill most of it!”
A man walks into
18 January 2007A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.
“We don’t need any one,” they replied.
“You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime any thing.
”
“We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can
sell just one, you have a job.”
He was gone for about […]
Love (Yea right!)
18 January 2007Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one
another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, one
asked how the other’s husband was doing.
“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage
for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in
the middle […]
Serious Mistakes
17 January 2007During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter, “Tell me, Doctor, did you ever make any really serious mistakes in your career?”
“Yes, I did,” came the doctor’s reply with a heavy sigh. “I once cured a millionaire in three visits.”
WOMEN AND GOD
17 January 2007A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery,
the woman decided to stay in the […]
Condom
17 January 2007A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it.
An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock […]
Survival of Smartest
17 January 2007An American journalist came to Afghanistan to see the state of western reforms. He was extremely disturbed to see the women still walk behind man and not together.
He interviewed one of the leading woman and asked her the reason why women in Afghanistan still walk behind men.
The woman artfully responded, “Land Mines”.
Damn these Bank Accounts…!
17 January 2007An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, “I […]
hearing aid
17 January 2007A man feared his wife was not hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]
GOD and the UNIVERSE!!!!
17 January 2007God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was
explaining his subordinates ……
”Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10
deers there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United
States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But […]